DEVELOPING CHARACTER
3rd of a 4-parts series on Character: Christian Life Practice
Philippians 3:10-21, John 10:7-10
[Since spoken communication differs from written, some of the grammar and syntax of this transcript may seem awkward in written form. To keep integrity with the spirit of the original delivery, the transcript seeks to stay close to the exact words spoken.]
Before I begin, a couple items from the grab bag having to do with the theme of last Sunday's sermon, which was about character and suffering. A quote from Aeschylus, the ancient Greek tragedian. Dick Brown, one of our members mentioned this quote. And a movie recommendation: The Big Kahuna. Now I can't give you any detail--I didn't have time last Sunday to give detail about those, they were left on the cutting room floor. But they're worth checking out. So if I've peaked your interest, I encourage you to check out the sermon blog we've set up around this sermon series and find those two items--again, they're worth checking out. I have to put in a plug for that blog every Sunday in this series--hope you'll tune in and visit that. (blog address: http://pclawrenceville.blogspot.com/)
But as we turn to the subject for today's sermon, will you take a moment to point heart and mind heavenward and together pray for a moment, in asking God's guidance as we seek God's word for us. Let us pray. Oh come Holy Spirit, come as the fire, and burn; come as the wind, and cleanse; come as the light, and reveal; come as the water, and refresh. Oh holy and loving God convict us, and convert us, and consecrate us, until we are truly and wholly yours. Amen.
Well today, in this third of a four part series on the theme of character, which we have been calling Character: Christian Life Practice, we're going to delve into the question, "How do we develop character?" Or, I actually wish I had entitled the sermon, "How do we cultivate character?" In the first sermon I gave a working definition of character. I said that character is an inner quality that is not fixed--it's changeable--but an inner quality that determines our outward actions and experiences. And so today we're going to look at, if that inner quality isn't fixed, how might we go about the process of shaping and forming a character that is worthy of abundant life?
And there are two ways that we're going to go about this question--I've got a basic two-point sermon here this morning. We're going to talk about the "what": What kind of life is most worth living? What is the content of a life of character, or of excellence, or abundance? And then we're going to talk about the "how." How might we go about shaping and living such a life? So the "what" and the "how." And as I begin this morning, as we begin exploring this question, I want to offer you a quote I came across on Friday. Friday is the day that I actually write my sermon--and I do begin with prayer. Actually I begin with quite a lot of procrastination and then I get down and have my prayer time, and I was looking at a devotional book, and I came across this quote; it was too coincidental, too synchronistic, if you will, to pass up. And I thought I'd share it with you. It's from a book written by Glenn Clark called I Will Lift Up Mine Eyes. And the quote goes like this:
"After a farmer plants wheat, he does not lie awake nights worrying lest radishes come up. He knows that it is the nature, or we might say the virtue, of wheat to grow wheat. It is the virtue of acorns to grow oak trees. And it is the virtue of prayers that are based upon that which is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good rapport to come to fulfillment."
We begin approaching this question--how do we form and shape our character--by asking the question, first, what are the seeds, or what are the virtues, worth planting in the fertile soil of my life? At what do our prayers aim? Do we not begin this process of developing character as we become conscious of what kind of life we'd like to live--what kind of life we're aiming for? This metaphor of planting--this horticultural metaphor--is a good one, I think, because it does involve two processes, does it not? First our own human choice making--our own intention about what seeds I desire to plant in my life, and the hard work of tending that and tilling the soil, and so forth. As well as the process by which things grow--the sort of mysterious process beyond us by which things grow, that we can't control. So this business of shaping character involves both our own human sweat as well as grace. It requires our prayer and our work.
But again, might we begin exploring this territory--how do we cultivate a character for our life--by asking, "What are the seeds most worth planning in my life?" And we begin with the assumption that there are certain seeds--we're talking of seeds as virtues, or as practices of life--that are better than others. Our tradition teaches us something about what constitutes a life most conductive to human flourishing. So there are virtues that we can practice that are better than other ways of practicing life.
Now here, I want to take just a little side track--visit a little cul-de-sac for a moment--and say something about what I think is the danger in this conversation about human character. And that is the danger of using the language of character and virtue to grind a culture war axe: to push my own narrow view about how everyone should live their life. In doing some research for this sermon series, one of the books that I read--which had quite a lot of good stuff in it, I have to say--later on in the book I read that the author was advocating for abstinence-only sex education; and if your child comes home and expresses homosexual feelings, you should counsel them out of those by sending him or her to a psychiatrist. Now those are things that I would disagree with, and I think many people might say they fall outside of what are agreed-upon, traditional, deep values--that again, most people and most ancient authorities would agree upon. So that's a danger that we need to be aware of--that we're not grinding our own axe, but are in conversation with the tradition, and with what most everyone would agree are deep and longstanding traditions about what constitutes virtue.
I don't think anyone would argue, outside maybe Machiavelli, that a life lived according to the value that says, "I'm only going to tell the truth when it suits my purpose" is a life that's conductive to human flourishing or human excellence.
So, we begin, once again, by asking ourselves, what then are those seeds worth planting and cultivating in living a life of excellence--what the Greeks would call arête: a life of excellence. In the same way that we can learn to play the violin in an excellent way, can we not try to live a life of excellence? And are there not certain practices that might enable us to do that? As Christians we might refer to that kind of life in a slightly different way. To use the language of John 10, which you heard a moment ago…which Susan read, we might call that a life of abundance. As Jesus says in John 10, "I came that they might have life, and have it abundantly." And we begin by desiring that kind of life. Paul compares his life to running a race. And he says, "The goal of my life is that kind of life that has been revealed to me by Christ. A life with Christ; a resurrected and risen life with him; a gift of God through Jesus Christ."
Well, this is really the first point I want to make this morning, to put it really simply. We begin to live that kind of abundant life simply by becoming aware, and articulating, what it is that we're aiming for. Or--I'm looking at Diane Wilfrid back there…for what are we aiming in this life? Don't want that preposition dangling out there! Because if somehow we're not conscious of the principles around which we organize our life, are we not in danger of living an unconscious life governed by whim and impulse? Paul talks about this kind of life when he refers to people who are enemies of the gospel. And he says that their stomach is their God. And so this is a lifestyle governed by living at the level of one's appetite. We run the risk of simply putting our lives on auto-pilot, or living according to the latest fad, or the will of the crowd and peer pressure around us.
Steven Covey, in his excellent book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People…it's certainly popular literature out there--been around for a long time. But I would actually highly recommend that book as a general-purpose guide to this question, about the question, how do we develop character. Anyway, in his book, one of the principles that he lifts up, that he puts out there, is: begin with the end in mind.
Now here's a challenge for us this morning. If I asked you at coffee hour--and don't put it past me, I may ask you--what are the principles around which you have lived your life, or wish to live your life…could you tell me what those are? Could you articulate them? Could you write them down? One of the things Covey actually suggests doing is writing a mission statement for your life. And actually I think that's an excellent idea. What would it be like to actually put on paper those virtues and values that are most important to you? Is generosity a virtue out of which you wish to live your life, and organize your life around? Is being a good parent one of the goals that you have set for your life, which involves virtues of patience, self-control, integrity, and so on? And we might then go a step further and ask what about those 90 hours a week that you're spending at the office. If you say being a good parent is your prime value, but you're spending most of your time not with your family, there may be a disconnect between your stated values and your actual practice of life. And, so, that leads to my second point in this two pointer this morning.
If the first step is articulating what it is we're aiming for--what are the principles around which we are organizing our life--how do we live that kind of life? Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher, has a neat way of describing how it is that we can instantly tell a person's character. He says that a person's character is basically just this--our character is simply a composite of our habits. What we do habitually, and therefore tend to do, describes that inner nature we've been talking about--our character. And Aristotle actually has a lot to say about forming habits when you're young, because when you're young, those habits solidify when you're older, and then become your character and it's harder to change them. So that's a warning, or a note of caution for us parents--and for all of us in our family life. The habits we practice in family life tend to be those habits that will form our children's character later on in life.
Our habits reveal our character. And none more clearly than our habits around the use of two things: our money and our time.
So if you take this stuff home and actually practice it…you might want first to try writing a mission statement. Do that exercise. And then do this--take a week and look at how you spend your time that week; and then, sit down with your checkbook, and look at where you spent your money that month. Because those will be the truest indicator of your real values, and therefore, your character.
I did a time management course about twelve years ago (and boy did I need it!) I found myself often not having enough time to do the things I needed to do, and I thought, you know, it will give me some techniques to be more effective in my work. And I was surprised that this time management experience was about clarifying my most deeply held values--what's most important to me--not just about getting my work done. It was about how I can organize habits around those most deeply held values. It was a marvelous experience. Because the good news is, you know, our habits are not fixed. It's hard to change them, but as Alisa was saying this morning in the children's talk, as Christians we believe in the possibility of change in the human animal. And we believe in a power that's able to renovate any human life--the power of God. So we believe that if our intention is to change, especially with divine help, it's possible--we can change our habits.
This may be a silly example, but, when I was a younger man, I didn't floss. You know, I brushed my teeth most of the time, at least twice a day, and so I was pretty good with that, but I didn't floss. And by the time I ended my seminary time I had terrible problems with my teeth. Where's…Kirk Huckel is usually sitting right over there, and he is our dentist in the congregation. We've had many fun conversations about flossing on the capital campaign team, of which he's a part. But anyway, alas I digress. I didn't floss, and then I got married. And like so many good character traits I've adopted in my life--I received many of them through my relationship with my life partner, with Catherine. I started flossing. It changed my life! Kirk Huckel will go on and on about how flossing, you know, is an indicator of all kinds of other digestive and health problems, so if you floss, it gets you miles ahead. And the funny thing is, if I don't floss at night, I can't go to sleep. I mean, I feel bad and dirty if I didn't floss. I have to floss! It's like a compulsion. It's a good habit--it's a good addiction. And I know many in the congregation know what that's like. If you say, "my prime value is taking care of my body," and you develop a habit of running, or working out, and you can't get through a week without having that discipline fulfilled--that's a healthy addiction. So we can change. We can choose the habits that we employ to practice a life of excellence and of virtue and of abundance.
I want to end by sharing an image from one of C.S. Lewis' books, Mere Christianity, which is probably his most famous one. Toward the end of that book he mentions a story, in which a person had to wear a mask--a mask that made him look more beautiful than he was. And he wore this mask for many years. And one day he took off the mask, and found that his face had grown to fit it, and that now he, like the mask, was beautiful. What had begun as a disguise had become a reality. As Christians, in a certain sense, we are asked to put on a mask such as that, which is the image of Christ. And we begin knowing how far away our own life is from that image that we know about through reading this book; reading scripture. But the strange thing that happens as we seek to imitate that person…is that we do become like him.
And at the end of that journey, as we discover how much we have grown like him, we might say to ourselves, "That's nothing that I have done; that's not my attainment; rather a great gift of God has been given to me." May it be so.
And so as you write your mission statement this week, may you also return next week, when we'll talk about character and social justice. Amen.
February 17, 2008
Second Sunday in LentThe Reverend Jeffrey A. Vamos
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